Saturday, October 3, 2009

The Joy Diet and Truth

Once I had read Chapter 2 of "The Joy Diet" - on Truth - I knew I did not want to actually follow through, and I didn't want to post a response.

The questions "What am I feeling" and "What hurts?" were loaded ones for me. I have been holding in feelings for some time - that is just what I do. The past month has been especially difficult - I have felt alternately overwhelmed, angry, fearful, hurt.

Recognizing and stating those feelings was a very difficult thing to do. When I read those questions, I felt all the emotions I have been holding in for the past few weeks surge. A couple of times this week, I have had tears on my drive from work.

Instead of posting, I visited other blogs. It was visiting Sheree's blog and reading her list of lies and truths , that it really struck me what I needed to do. I would create my own list (thanks Sheree for the inspiration!):

1. LIE: I can't teach.
TRUTH: I have 2 very challenging students and I am getting behaviour plans in place for them to help control their behaviour and bring success for them.

2. LIE: Cancer kills.
TRUTH: The doctor is optimistic about the skin cancer on my husband's face and the surgery in 2 weeks will be successful.

3. LIE: I am a victim again.
TRUTH: I will fight my ex in court and make all those people aware of what a truly despicable man he is. And maybe receive restitution.
4. LIE: I can't lose weight and it is difficult to exercise.
TRUTH: I can lose weight - I just have to keep focused on what it means to be healthy. I need to dance and dance often!
These are the lies that are affecting me the most right now. There are other stories I need to adjust but I want to focus on rewriting these 4 scripts in my head so that I can move forward.

This will be an ongoing project for sure!

My truth card became a collage of hurtful things that need to be exposed (grief, cancer, depression) and expressions of bringing joy into myself. Marilyn's photos made me think of the movie star persona vs the little lost girl!

This week I read a post by Connie of Dirty Footprints Studio on a Yoga trick that will keep you healthy. As I read it I realized that little trick would also be perfect for our moments of nothing!
The secret is simply practicing Legs Up the Wall! Visit Connie here.

I am slowly improving on this practice as well!


Angie said...

My gorgeous blog friend, you are so wonderful and brave to just say the things that hurt and acknowledging them. This is the first step to healing those hurts, you are a wonderful teacher, husband and friend, just because you care and your heart is open to learn, to learn what is best, straight from the heart, I know I have received your love through the internet! Sending you lots of love, Angie :)

Leone said...

I am sorry that you have so many difficult things going on in your life right now. It's good to cry and let it all out. I just want you to know that my Dad had a cancer on his forehead, had it removed and had no further problems with it, so I'm sure your husband will be fine. It is a worry though, I know.
Yes, you are a good teacher, I can tell by how much you care, that is the most important part of teaching.
I received my ATC and love it, thank you for all the work you put into it.

Grammy said...

I am sorry you had a ruff time of this week. My hubby has had cancer removed from his head. And my brother inlaw has had several removed. It is scary for me too. But after it was not much at all. We seem to let worry let thing grow to extremes. It is hard to step back and wait to see what will happen.
I love the way you turned your truth around.
Be blessed my friend. My thoughts are with you.

Rose said...

truth can be a very difficult thing... I do hope things get better.

Anonymous said...

Good for you for taking your fears and turning into truths that are bursting at the seams with possibility. That takes such courage and strength!

Ellecubed said...

I think the way you took truth on is so commendable. Wishing your husband a fast and speedy recovery.

Christa said...

I learned from another blogger to trust. I have found that when I am doubting to just ground myself in trust. Knowing that something bigger than me is working for my better good. The first steps in facing our truths, stepping in front of the glass, can sometimes be the most difficult. Trust.
Thanks for sharing leg up the wall! I love that restorative pose.
Peace and Love to you.