Sunday, March 29, 2009

Chapter 12 - Goals /planning/dreams

It's hard to believe that the journey has ended now with the 12th and final chapter of 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women. It has been a very interesting and challenging journey to be sure. For the most part I was an observer from the sidelines, content to read the chapters and the blogs. But over the course of the book I came to realize I had to respond - not only to the book and blogs but to the challenges.

My greatest challenge was to create this blog. For an almost computer illiterate it was and is a challenge! But one I have enjoyed.

Thanks to Jamie for hosting this book adventure and for the thoughts, challenges and interviews you have provided. I am looking forward to the next adventure!

Lainie Taylor's words had a big impact for me. Giving myself permission to create, to have my own space, to do what I love is what I needed to hear. I spend too much time helping others, reading about what I would like to do, procrastinating! Her idea of having a list of hundreds of things that fire our imaginations, that fascinate us , really made me realize that I have been limiting myself.

When she asked "What is your big dream?" it made me realize that the past few years I have not really had a big dream.

Yesterday while laying in bed, I happened to really look at an oil pastel portrait I had had done over 30 years ago. I looked at my much younger self and realized that I had no idea then what my future would turn out like. I would teach for almost 30 years, in many different places and at different levels; I would marry twice; have 3 lovely children; write for a newspaper for several years; learn to drive and then survive a horrific car accident, teach children's art courses several summers - just to name a few.

The past few years have been challenging as I have remarried in 2002, donated a kidney to my new husband , moved with him to a new town and started over at age 54 - new school, home, church, even friends. That is much harder to do after 19 years in one place.

Then I lost my Mom last year and I realized I had been in a depression for a while. I feel the fog lifting though. Part of that was due to creating my 101 list - having goals and a future seems to have helped. I also realized that I haven't really been creative in a long time and that is my fault.

So, going through this book, reading all the blogs has really fired me up.

Then seeing my younger self really made me look at myself now. I may be older, but I still have a future and who knows what great things are coming my way? I just have to do it. I will dream and I will take action. More on those dreams later!

1 comment:

Jamie Ridler said...

Bev, I am so touched reading your post. I'm so glad that you took part in this adventure and that now you've reached out and connected.

I'm excited to see what's next for you, what you're going to create, what dreams are going to surface and set you off an an adventure. It's going to be wonder-full.

Thanks for finding your courage. You've inspired me.